The Stomach Bug

There once was a stomach bug that snuck into my place
It was stealth like and shrewd while it plotted its chase

With its keen little plan it lurked in the dark
As my daughter played Barbies, she’d become its mark

A noise from the family room that sounded not right
Which one of the three was now starting a fight?

“What’s wrong? What happened? What did you spill?”
  “I said not to much. You don’t over-fill....”

Sweet mother! Holy crap! That’s not milk, juice or kool-aid
but a pool of vomit she’s spewed and sprayed

“Oh baby! What happened? I didn’t know you felt sick”
Was this a joke or some evil, unwanted trick?

The vomit was everywhere, webbed in her toes
her hair and her bankies, then it came across my nose

That smell made me urge, I could taste it in my mouth
“Sweet mother of pear!”, I wanted to shout

I gagged and I spit, then admitted defeat
there’s nothing normal about food that’s meshed to your feet.

I took one for the team as I cleaned up the puddles
while my daughter dry-heaved in between Mommy cuddles

It’s violent and harsh, but its stay is brief
yet, with two other children it leaves little relief

This bug was now hiding, in the cracks and the walls
Smirking and snicerking as the Locke Family falls

Have pity, take mercy for I will fight til the end
as I've no interest in cleaning fluids from either end.

I bid you farewell, with a cramp in my tummy
So unfair, this really bites, cause who takes care of Mummy?

April Fools' Day

First off I would like to thank “Shelia” for dumping the 30cm plus centimetres of snow last week.  There’s nothing better than shovelling snow and ice while listening to the sounds of Katy Perry’s “California Girls’.  Daisy dukes and bikini’s on top? … Please hold while I stick toothpicks in my eyes.

With snow pants, skidoo gloves, and a scarf wrapped around my face, I braved the 90km/hr winds once again removing snow, snow and more snow.  Where we live, the rolling hills of freshly fallen snow are something you only read of in books.  Here, the sideways falling snow mixed with rain and fridgid winds leave behind moguls of ice covered with dirt.  There’s nothing pretty about this time of year. 

The sun-filled skies of St. Petersburg, Florida are a far cry from the overcast, grey-coloured ones here.  Outside activities for the kids are beginning to shift toward spring, with dusted off hockey nets and street-hockey sticks making their way back to the streets. “If you build it they will come”. So, why not “if you play it, spring will come” in the hope Mother Nature will throw a few mild, sunny days our way. 

Stacks of t-shirts and shorts, numerous racks of bathing suits and bikini’s, soccer balls and shin pads, baseball gear, golf equipment have lined the retail stores. Have these people not looked outside lately?  By the time we’re ready for any of those things, most are gone and are replaced with next season’s fall line.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy winter; when it’s supposed to be winter. Here, winter has a sick and twisted time-line; seeing snow ‘til May or June is not that unlikely.  Perhaps we should engage retailers with a more appropriate marketing campaign. “You hand over a few of those bikini’s filling the stores and I’ll give you the 10 pounds I packed on over the winter!”. 

Well, today April has finally arrived. Some Newfoundlanders spread their wings - heading south, others persevere against the chilly spring air digging out their beloved barbecues’ and some extend that gym membership for just one more month.   Bikini’s, palm trees, martini’s by the pool…some good old vitamin D, seem nothing more than urban myths.  I know you’re out there and I’m gonna find you! Be it street hockey, rollerblading or simply shovelling snow in my flip flops….Spring WILL be found! (if today is any indication...+5 and sunny skies = awesome!)