Offsides

“SKATE! SKATE! SKATE!! - C’mon by’!! –  Get em, go, go go!!”  -  sweet mother ! “Easy killer”, I think to myself.  “Go Tristan, get him!”, she hollers again and again! It’s the first period of my son’s hockey game, and I seem to have positioned myself in front of a woman who insists on a play-by-play for her son (who’s on the opposing team).

First period, six minutes in, her continued “support” is now starting to grate on my nerves.  By the second period, I’m hoping Tristan gets it together so that his mother might be quiet.  However, no such luck. I sit quietly, uttering the occasional “Oooo”, “Oh!”, “Good try”, when my brain is yet again rattled by, “SKATE! SKATE! SKATE!!!!!!”

In all fairness, what else is the kid going to do?  Skip?  Pirouette? Do cart-wheels? Of course he’s going to skate! It’s an ice rink, he’s wearing skates! Sweet jingles!!  By the third period, the score was 6-1 for the opposing team.  I knew it (as I can read the score board) and the entire building new it, thanks to crazed hockey mom perched behind me.  Occasionally, I would turn around to see if direct eye contact would have any effect. Perhaps she did not realize she was being so overbearing.  

I had debated asking her to tone it down a little.  However, thought it best to keep my mouth shut as she began to growl once the score got closer to a tie.   I`ll be honest, she was getting on my last nerve!  Did she not realize that all the other on-lookers were staring at her?  That this version of parental support was annoying, disruptive, not to mention detrimental to the reputation of the hockey mom!

One of my current favourites, mother approaches son’s hockey coach, explains that the goalie needs improvement.  The best solution she could see, was to provide said goalie with an ear piece and her with it’s counter-part.  From the mezzanine she would “instruct” team goalie throughout the game.  Now! I ask you, what kind of reaction time do you think an eight-year-old has?  Did she honestly think the coach would embrace this idea? A suggestion that questioned his coaching ability and in my opinion, falls into the “are you serious?” category.  

At the end of the day people, I ask you...what happened to taking pride in watching your child have fun, to see them feel good about his/herself,  to just sitting back and letting them be part of team without squawking at them from the sidelines.  I wonder how Tristan felt having his mom yelling out at him the entire game? Not quite the confidence booster I was thinking of.

So tomorrow, like every other  8am Saturday of the season, we’ll pile gear and kids into the mini-van, suit up, sit with hot chocolate and enjoy a good old game of hockey!