This week my boys celebrated their eleventh and ninth birthdays! Another year older, another year wiser; it was on his ninth birthday my younger son asked the question, “Mom? What’s the difference between a kid and a grown-up?”
It was here that I stopped, briskly scanned my brain for the appropriate answer, only to decide, “I don’t know if there is a real difference between kids and grown-ups” was the best I had.
This answer was followed by, “No, when you’re a grown-up you can do whatever you want”, “when I grow up I’m staying up late all the time”, “grown-ups have lots of money Mom”, “grown-ups don’t have to do chores”, and so on.
This let me to sit down and really think about what being a “grown-up” and being a “kid” had in common. Sure some of the differences are unavoidable, like age, bearing children, being able to vote, etc. But what exactly makes being a grown-up that different from being a kid?
Kid – Mom or Dad decides when you go to bed.
Grown – up – while you can “go to bed” when you feel like it, ultimately we still
have bedtime dictated to us. If you’re kids wake at 6am, your day will go
down hill if you’re functioning on four hours sleep.
Kid – some, little or no money
Grown-up – some, little or no money. It can be argued that our kids with their saved
allowances and birthday money are ultimately richer than their parents.
From mortgages, lines of credit, student loans and car payments – a grown-
ups bank account is happiest if we make it back in the black -
“You have no money do ya buddy? Well, Mommy and Daddy have less than no
money. So you’re doing alright!”
Kid – Parents are constantly telling kids to clean your room, unload the dishwasher,
take out the occasional load of trash, put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
Grown-up – Frankly, I would take a “kid version” of chores any day. Grown-ups
have chores, they’ve just exponentially multiplied. Long gone are the days of
simply, unloading a dishwasher, or getting the worn clothes in a hamper. In
addition to that, we shovel snow, mow the lawn, collect - wash - and put
away laundry, sanitize toilets, cook food, sweep floors, wash floors….and on and on.
Long gone are the days of being responsible for a 9X10 bedroom, we have a house to take care of.
“But no one tells you do to that Mom! You’re always telling us to do stuff.”
“On the contrary, if the laundry isn’t done you ask Mommy, ‘Why aren’t my
jeans clean?’, If Mommy doesn’t get the driveway shoveled Papa is going to
tell Mommy ‘You should get that done. It’s a sin to make the kids trudge
through the snow’” – So buddy, between you kids and Nanny and
Poppies, grown-ups still have people telling them what, when and how to do
things!
Kid – only gets allowance
Grown-up – bi-weekly paycheques are allowance for grown-up. And, we actually
have to do something to earn it
Kid – kids have school time, quiet time, nap time, snack time, TV time, play time.
Grown-up – work time, pick up the kids time, little to no quiet time, leftovers for
snack time, TV time (if you can stay awake long enough) and depending on
your version of play time (if you’re a grown-up with kids),that too can be
short-lived or non-existent.
“You know, Drew, the quiet time Mommy gets? It’s sneaking in to the
bathroom, running a cold shower, sitting on the toilet and savoring the
white noise.”
“What’s white noise?”
“It’s the only sound I know that can drown out you little people. Until you
realize where I am and you start banging on the door. That’s when the white
noise ends”
and as for grown-up “play time”? Grab is while you can people. Before long
you’ll be installing two locks on your bedroom door; you’ll realize your kids
are ninjas and can appear out of no where, catching you in the act
So there it is little man kids and grown-ups aren’t really that different after all. Both dream to the future, remember the past, and with any luck we thrive in a world of Neverland; with big people and little people all just enjoying the ride!
