Ever had one of those weeks that tests your sanity to the core? One thing after another, chipping away, provoking you to question whether or not you’ve actually lost it. You can feel your brain squeezing inside your skull, it hurts to think. But wait....reprieve from inevitable chaos! That brief moment when you take a breath, collect yourself, grab the coffee you left on the counter! “Okay - it’s okay, let’s try this again!” – sigh
Wham-oh! You smack your hip into the countertop sending your sacred coffee into a spiralling mess and your nerves a puddle of despair! If you’re saying to yourself, “Nope. Never been there!” – you’re lying! We’ve all been there! It’s a parental rite of passage that we must embrace!
Tuesday morning, lunches were packed, homework had been signed, we even got to school on time and without incident. Gracie had a terrific skating lesson, was a little fish at swimming and even entertained sitting in her stroller for a quick trip to the mall (with the bribery of a pretzel of course) to knock a few items off the old Santa list. With my mouth-watering butter pecan latte in hand and Christmas melodies playing in the back ground, I thought, “This is nice! Very nice indeed!” ----“Mama!! I gotta poo!”, interrupts my moment of holiday bliss.
We run to the restroom, when she informs me she does not have to go now. (Grrr) “Gracie, we have to get your brothers in five minutes. If you have to go, go now!” – pleading with a three year-old is like sticking your finger in an electric socket; burning and unproductive.
Then, without warning, the downward spiral begins. It’s raining and instead of staying inside the boys have been waiting outside. So, now their wet and apparently quite grumpy! Middle child is unimpressed by my tardiness and informs me it’s quite difficult to eat cereal for lunch when you don’t have a spoon (thought for sure I’d packed a spoon), then proceeds to dramatically emphasize the extent of his starvation! Noah had been signed up for hot lunch (macaroni – his favourite), however, apparently they ran out, so he only had a bun for lunch! A bun, that was it! SERIOUSLY! – Ugh, the chest pains were back! My nice, happy day had gone to pieces.
Home base was just more crazy! “He’s looking at me funny!”, “Don’t touch that it’s mine”, “MOM!! She’s got my light saber!”, “I don’t like that, I’m not eating it!” “Where’s my hockey stick, I’ve got hockey tonight!” – Blah, blah, blah!! Whine, whine, whine! – was there a full moon tonight?
Don’t worry honey, mommy is just going to take the light saber and stick it in her eye! - Addled is an understatement. With that, my hubby arrives home in the nick of time. Noah and I run to the van as I shouted, “Good Luck honey”! - I’m free!
From there we putter onward....Wednesday afternoon, groceries and what not, only today I had a glorified blonde moment and actually forgot where I had parked the van. Of course, now the Holiday shoppers are like vultures. The moment you set foot in the parking lot, you are a marked target! Now, all eyes were on me and in what direction I was headed. Problem was, I truly had no idea!
At one point I actually laughed out loud. “Nope, not my van” – “Ah ha! – Jingles...not that one either”. For a second I contemplated going back inside. Then, I did what any self-respecting person would have done... pretended to talk on my cell phone while I haphazardly meandered through the parking lot praying I would find my car. It didn't look good!
Now you may be asking yourself, “Why didn’t she use the remote and honk the horn”? Well, you must own a vehicle without any quirks for that to work. My vehicle prefers that you be right in front of it before you press the “find me” button!
Finally, I found my car and enjoyed a good laugh at my own expense. Should I be concerned over my incident of memory loss? Maybe. Maybe not. When it was all said and done, I had my car, my groceries and three kids accounted for. - Sounds like a success to me!!
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