The Stomach Bug

There once was a stomach bug that snuck into my place
It was stealth like and shrewd while it plotted its chase

With its keen little plan it lurked in the dark
As my daughter played Barbies, she’d become its mark

A noise from the family room that sounded not right
Which one of the three was now starting a fight?

“What’s wrong? What happened? What did you spill?”
  “I said not to much. You don’t over-fill....”

Sweet mother! Holy crap! That’s not milk, juice or kool-aid
but a pool of vomit she’s spewed and sprayed

“Oh baby! What happened? I didn’t know you felt sick”
Was this a joke or some evil, unwanted trick?

The vomit was everywhere, webbed in her toes
her hair and her bankies, then it came across my nose

That smell made me urge, I could taste it in my mouth
“Sweet mother of pear!”, I wanted to shout

I gagged and I spit, then admitted defeat
there’s nothing normal about food that’s meshed to your feet.

I took one for the team as I cleaned up the puddles
while my daughter dry-heaved in between Mommy cuddles

It’s violent and harsh, but its stay is brief
yet, with two other children it leaves little relief

This bug was now hiding, in the cracks and the walls
Smirking and snicerking as the Locke Family falls

Have pity, take mercy for I will fight til the end
as I've no interest in cleaning fluids from either end.

I bid you farewell, with a cramp in my tummy
So unfair, this really bites, cause who takes care of Mummy?

April Fools' Day

First off I would like to thank “Shelia” for dumping the 30cm plus centimetres of snow last week.  There’s nothing better than shovelling snow and ice while listening to the sounds of Katy Perry’s “California Girls’.  Daisy dukes and bikini’s on top? … Please hold while I stick toothpicks in my eyes.

With snow pants, skidoo gloves, and a scarf wrapped around my face, I braved the 90km/hr winds once again removing snow, snow and more snow.  Where we live, the rolling hills of freshly fallen snow are something you only read of in books.  Here, the sideways falling snow mixed with rain and fridgid winds leave behind moguls of ice covered with dirt.  There’s nothing pretty about this time of year. 

The sun-filled skies of St. Petersburg, Florida are a far cry from the overcast, grey-coloured ones here.  Outside activities for the kids are beginning to shift toward spring, with dusted off hockey nets and street-hockey sticks making their way back to the streets. “If you build it they will come”. So, why not “if you play it, spring will come” in the hope Mother Nature will throw a few mild, sunny days our way. 

Stacks of t-shirts and shorts, numerous racks of bathing suits and bikini’s, soccer balls and shin pads, baseball gear, golf equipment have lined the retail stores. Have these people not looked outside lately?  By the time we’re ready for any of those things, most are gone and are replaced with next season’s fall line.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy winter; when it’s supposed to be winter. Here, winter has a sick and twisted time-line; seeing snow ‘til May or June is not that unlikely.  Perhaps we should engage retailers with a more appropriate marketing campaign. “You hand over a few of those bikini’s filling the stores and I’ll give you the 10 pounds I packed on over the winter!”. 

Well, today April has finally arrived. Some Newfoundlanders spread their wings - heading south, others persevere against the chilly spring air digging out their beloved barbecues’ and some extend that gym membership for just one more month.   Bikini’s, palm trees, martini’s by the pool…some good old vitamin D, seem nothing more than urban myths.  I know you’re out there and I’m gonna find you! Be it street hockey, rollerblading or simply shovelling snow in my flip flops….Spring WILL be found! (if today is any indication...+5 and sunny skies = awesome!)

Sheila's Brush

My daughter has finally recovered from pneumonia and then a nasty virus that kept us housebound for a pleasant two weeks.  In that time I snuggled with my daughter, re-arranged tupperware, and gutted closets. It was during these activities I discovered my house in need of some serious spring dusting and a coat of paint. 

No one will argue, when you have kids there is a certain amount of paint scratches, smudges,  and the occasional gouge that falls in the acceptable level.  I’ve discovered dust-bunnies that, had they been left another day or so, might have walked themselves into the garbage.

Spring project? Nothing a little sand paper and a lick of paint can’t fix, right? Paint those dust bunnies right into the paint as if they were always meant to be there! - Ha, ha, ha! Who am I kidding!  I can barely get a week worth of laundry put away.  It gets washed, folded into the laundry basket, emptied and sorted onto my bed…then back into the basket as I’m too tired and need to get into my bed (this process is then repeated for the next three-four days until the clothes is finally put away). Sound familiar?

It’s been an interesting few weeks to say the least.  Hockey for the boys is now in playoff mode, while other activities, like gymnastics and canskate are coming to an end for the winter season.  I can’t complain about winter, we’ve been quite lucky this year.  Though, once again I must slowly reintroduce my eyes to the phenomenon known as the “sun”.  I don’t know if Newfoundlanders go South during March and April specifically for sand, palm trees, and “all-inclusive” resorts; but, more so to solidify the belief that the sun does shine in other parts of the world. 

Last week while drudging my way down the Parkway, its’ glorious rays broke through the gray grief-stricken clouds of March spilling light and hope onto the streets of St. John’s.  Like a scene out of Hollywood, I wanted to pull over, exit the vehicle, stand in the middle of the road allowing my skin to absorb the heavenly and scarce warmth of the sun……”Mom, can I have $20.00 for Toys r’ US?”, a little voice breaks the silence as my blinded eyes squint to regain their focus while I attempt to remain on the road.

All that’s left now is the impending winter storm of Shelia`s Brush.  Generally, St. Patrick`s Day is accompanied by the Legend of Shelia`s Brush.  Newfoundlanders are given one last final wallop of a winter storm to officiate the coming of Spring (Spring? I laugh).  It`s said that Shelia is either the mother, sister or wife of St. Patrick; this last final storm (or storms) are said to be Shelia brushing away what`s left of winter. Sweeping away the winter season making way for Spring to arrive.

Well, I hear she`s cleaning house for this weekend. If so, I have a few requests.  “Shelia? While you’re whipping up a few snow squalls, blowing snow and zero visibility could ya swoop by and take some dust bunnies, slap a coat of paint on the walls and base boards and if there’s time, drop a box of wax on the doorstep…winter’s not the only thing needing a “brushing away” – these legs haven’t see a razor since…good grief that’s not pleasant!”

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all!

Sick Days

There‘s nothing worse than a sick child.  Their usual active, happy-go-lucky selves replaced by a fevering, cough strickened, pathetic bag of bones imbedded in the recliner.  Little rosy cheeks with a tiny whimper for a snuggle, is all this Mama needs to grab her comfy pants and fuzzy blanket to settle in with the sick.

Day 1, Sunday – It’s confirmed that little Grace is indeed sick.  The persistent cough is now accompanied by pink cheeks, a warm forehead and mild irritability (though I believe her genetic make-up of XX allows for constant irritability on a varying level). She’s low key, content to watch her movie and I putter about the house as normal, tending to her every need while avoiding any level of housework.

Day 2, Monday – Boys have been picked up for school.  The little Miss picks at her breakfast taking in the adventures of Animal Mechanicals. Though not feeling well, she is pleasant and truly adorable as she attempts to blow her own nose.

We color, read stories and hang out of the couch. Like clock-work Gracie begins to crash mid afternoon and snuggles up with her bankies while Ice Age plays in the background. I have seized this time to do laundry, clean two-day-old dishes (unpleasant), re-organize cupboards , craft supplies, all the while removing dust bunnies that soon could have walked away on their own.  If I was going to be housebound, today I was going to catch up!

Day 3, Tuesday – The day starts off with the announcement of a snow day!  Again.  Snow, and high winds once again force the closure of schools for the day.  And, like most snow days, it’s perfectly wonderful out by noon.

The boys had puttered up the street for some good ole snow-day ice hockey. It’s now we visit the Doctor to discover Little G has a nasty fever,  bad sinus infection and pneumonia.  Who knew! 

With a lift from Mom, we reassumed our spot in the rocking chair, nice and warm and cozy.  It’s terrible to see them so pathetic, however, I can’t help but love the cuddles that come along with the sickies!

Day 4, Wednesday – Middle child is not feeling the best. Warm forehead and cough; two out of three down for the count; lots of cuddles going around now…again, and again and again.  Good grief man! I’ve barely smelled fresh air in four days, I’m becoming more idle by the minute.  Boogers, diarrhea, snot-filled tissues..there was nothing cute about it.  Did we really need to have the three of us stuffed into the recliner like hogs in ninety-degree heat? The last of my personal space was barely visible.

 In a desperate act of entertainment, I give my boy a paper shredder and a box of “to be shredded” papers. “Here buddy. Have at it!”, I loving grumble as I find him a spot to perch.  Surly this would entertain him for a little while.

Then, as if by some sixth sense, a voice emerges from the burning heap of blankets and snotty tissues, “Drew!!! I’m over here!”. –  there was no peace. Even unwell, these two siblings would find any excuse to grobble.

“Mommy I’m thirsty.”, “Mommy can you get me some tissues”, “Mom, I don’t like the peel”, “Mom can I shred the envelopes? – Sweet mother of jingles people!!!  “Here’s one for you…. Can I have two seconds so I can PEE - PLEASE!!”

The threshold, maximum Mommy-ness had be reached. Like the Rogers “on Demand” button, I too was being pressed and pressed, because when you’re sick, you need it now-  And so you should, but now I was running out of steam.  I had to get out.  The walls were closing in and my tolerance level depleting. A swift text to the husband indicating it would be in his best interest to get home quickly and a plan of attack to Costco – my breath of “fresh air” was minutes away.

The man’s truck wasn’t in park as I dashed down the walkway. Zoom, zoom baby!  As I drove to my destination,  I had feelings of guilt. What a sin for me. A sick little girl, an unwell boy and all I can think of is “how I’m getting out of here?”. You know what?  Shoot me!  I’m only human. Three days of extreme care giving with no fifteen-minute break, no family day, no annual leave.

Day 4, Thursday – Both boys make it to school. My little princess is still sick and starting a new course of antibiotics. She yo-yo’s back and forth between precious angel and evil queen; I however, thanks to Costco and some therapeutic online shopping feel refreshed and well equipped to dish out some “Mama loves ya, even though you can drive me nuts – feel better my angel- loving!”

Day 5, Friday – Repeat....with wine.

Taste Testing!

February 25, 2011

Let me start by saying, “Wow”!!  I received lots of emails from readers, sharing their favourite beverage.  I was so surprised!  Who knew people were actually reading Mommy Jingles! Awesome!  As a result, for the last two weeks I’ve been busy sampling your suggestions.

Lacey, Tyler, Kim, Jody, April, Danielle, Sue, Ally, Dan….to name a few; not only did you share your Star Bucks drink of choice; you shared your knowledge too.  I did not know you could request extra  “shots”, extra hot, no-foam/half-foam, half-sweet, continually I am amazed at the variations that can be made of a simple drink.  I have to admit that I’m beginning to feel that this is not, “the more you know – the better”; the increasing complexity is starting to feel like “the more you know – the more confused you are”. 

As promised, I have tried some reader suggestions.  The “strong vanilla latté” (a variation of my personal favourite) was first on my list.  As soon as I’d finished ordering, the look on the Baristas face said it all. “Strong what?!”  Lesson #2, while in some parts of the world strong might mean add an extra shot of espresso, here, it means you haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.  In this town, it’s say it like it is.  “I’ll have a vanilla latté with an extra shot of espresso?”.  None of this “strong” business or “one-pump please”.  Thank you Kim for the extra bounce in my step and very strange looks.

From here it was a vanilla bean frappuccino, chai tea, a skinny caramel latté and caramel macchiato all making the, as Lacey called it, The Star Bucks Deliciousness List (Thank you Lacey and Danielle).  My taste buds were introduced to sweet naughtiness, from here, there’s no turning back.

In short, here’s what I’ve learned:

The Latté, generally speaking, is one shot of espresso filled with steamed milk, topped with light foam. (a 1:8 ratio of espresso to milk)

The Cappuccino, like the Latté, consists of espresso and steamed milk.  The difference being the steaming process.  By infusing more air into the milk it becomes more foamy and frothy.  Your glass contains one shot of espresso, followed by a third of milk, then topped with a third of foamy goodness.

The Macchiato, more of a 1:1 ratio of espresso to milk however, it can vary depending on the place.

You’re reading this thinking, I still don’t understand. Well, you’re not alone. Me neither! Bottom line…espresso, milk, and a whole lot a steaming!  At the end of the day, don’t be afraid to ask the staff for help in finding your deliciousness drink!  That’s what they’re there for.

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In latté-unrelated news, our beloved mini-van finally reached rock bottom.  After being nursed along, it was time to consider moving on.  The Mama-shuttle was requiring more and more upkeep and it made sense to put that money toward something else.  I don’t know about anyone else, but when you start looking for a vehicle that comfortably seats a family of five, and all the junk that we carry along with us you quickly realize that isn’t a lot out there.  We soon realized that our options were another mini-van or a larger SUV.  The new mini-vans could not only seat five, you could pitch tents in there!  They have everything a mother could wish for and more.  Just a little too much more.  I had loved my van yet, even I was ready to say goodbye.  In the end, we found our new friend, an Acadia. 

We arrived to do the vehicle exchange a mere 48 hours ago only to watch my two youngest fall apart as their loved van was driven away.  I was shocked.  I had no idea that they would react this way.  True, this was the only vehicle they’d ever known and with that lots of memories for them too.  Even I had a brief moment…yet it quickly passed. No longer would I be driving the sour-milk smelling van with its gum-filled carpets and unidentified food particles; we had a whole new car to slowly steal of its “new car” smell and unstained carpets! Oh, it was good!!

  “Have a great weekend!”

The Latté.

Gone are the days when one simply asked, “May I have a coffee please”, or “A spot of tea would be nice”.  Today there is a world of double-doubles, single-triples, four & two, half-caff.  Half caff?   You see, up until September of this year, my beverage drink of choice had been fountain pop.  McDonald’s fountain pop nonetheless.  However, the time had come for me to move on and I was using good old black coffee as its replacement, which was not doing the job; then one day a friend of mine bought me a latté.  I had my suspicions of a drink containing milk and hopefully some caffeine, however, beyond that...clueless.

This vanilla latté was delicious and I was hooked.  There was just one problem… how on earth was I going to order one myself.  I asked my friend more specifically explain what I was drinking, to which she replied, a “Vanilla Latté”.  Certainly it wasn’t as simple as that. Was that all I had to say when ordering? A simple, vanilla latté please.  The she drops the bomb. Well, you can have it with 1% milk or skim milk, decaf or half-calf, then sugar free syrup or not, foam or no foam….my brain had stopped all efforts to retain the words coming out of her mouth.  Gibberish would have made more sense.

Seven weeks passed and several failed attempts at ordering my finely tuned latté.  Yet, I persevered and finally felt confident that I had not only manufactured that perfect latté order, but would make its request via drive-thru!

I sat tall in my seat as I rounded the bend to the speaker, “Hi! What can I get started for you today?” -  “Oh God! Crap….I can’t think! Um…what the… I’ll just be one moment.”  I collected my thoughts then politely asked for a venti, non-fat, sugar free, vanilla café latté. – “Alright then, that’s a venti, skinny vanilla latté”.

“WHAT? Skinny who? I’m sorry, WHAT?!! Seriously??  Didn’t I ask for a sugar free, non-fat latté thingy?”  – What was happening? Where did this skinny stuff come from? Of all things sacred!  - I must have mumbled loud enough for the “voice in the box” to hear as his entertained chuckle caught my ear!  I was mortified and now extremely confused.  As I approached the window to collect my latté, the baristas smirk was just enough to add severe embarrassment to the menu.  Still, I had to ask…”why are you calling my drink skinny?” 

Today, five months later, I am as equally as muddled as ever.  I have, however, mastered my request for a “venti, skinny vanilla latté. Sadly though, my latté repertoire ends there.  Since my early days at the drive thru window of Star Bucks, I have also learned that you may even request extra foam, or no foam; perhaps you would like your beverage “extra hot”! – Intimidated and bewildered, I ask you, where did the simplicity go?

In talking so some other friends, I realize I am not alone in this dilemma. The great “café latté” bafflement has caused  mental stress and confusion.  Just recently, a friend ordered a “Grande skinny mini” – Now imagine if he had ordered it extra hot!  We will not be held captive Americanos, Tazo teas, and Chai this and thats.   I will broaden my horizons allowing my tastebuds to be tingled by the Caramel Macchiato, to savor the cocoa of a Mocha delicately topped with whip cream!  Now, if only I knew exactly what any of this was!

My Challenge! – having taken the time to read this Blog entry, I ask you to please share your favourite beverage of choice.  Email themommyjingles@gmail.com, or simply post a comment here on my blog, then I will pick one of your suggestions to try for the week. I’ve got my StarBucks card loaded and I’m ready to start sampling!

In addition, there’s no question that I am going to have to do my own research on latté’s and macchiato! It would make sense that I have some smidgen of understanding of what I’m drinking.  I have concerns, I won’t lie.  It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve embarrassed myself ordering something I have no clue about. Still, my $5.59 is worth the adventure and the end result…YUMMY!!!

Look out local Baristas The Mommy Jingles are coming….for one of us, it won’t be good!

 (please don’t let it be me!)
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The Mommy Jingles One Year Anniversary is just around the corner!
February 19, 2011

38.7cm = Snow Day

According to Environment Canada 38.7cm of fluffy white snow fell in the metro area.  Personally, I think most of it fell on my van, as it looked more like a large skiing mogul than a vehicle.  None the less, there was no room for complaining.  After a quiet, argument free breakfast of pancakes, my little troops and I headed out to start clearing out.  The boys trotted off playing with their friends while little Gracie hung out with her Mama.  Today was a great day indeed.  Not only was it sunny and mild out, my husband had purchased a new snow blower for me after the debockle and inevitable retirement of our last one.

This Mama was a snow clearing machine!  Best part was my little munchikin following along side me with her "stroller blower" (as she called it).  Grace puttered along side her Mama quite proud of her snow clearing abilities.  "Look Mama, I did that!"

Who was I to argue with the kid, piles and piles of snow to clear and an almost 4-year-old to keep entertained and safe.  If she wanted to use the stroller as her "stroller blower", I was all over it.

Oddly enough, our morning was without incident.  Who would have thunk it!! Our street Mayor brought along a Tim Hortons green tea and the kids have spent the entire day filling their lungs full of fresh air! Closets, toy bins and two rooms gutted, three bags of garbage and two for goodwill....I think it's safe to say that this snow day was a great success and it's not over yet.

Dinner is cooking and a Miche party tonight to attend....how I love these days!